I wonder...

...why people, after finding for something they were looking for a long time say: "This is really the last place where I would look!"

Of course it's the LAST place. Why would anyone continue the search after finding whatever he is looking for?!

Scarecrow

When I was younger, there was a TV show for kids where the main character had a spare dedicated head. When he wanted to turn smart, he would screw off his „every day head“and screw on „smart head“ . When he had a date with a girl, he would screw on nice, combed head…
It's an interesting idea to have a head you can choose. The guy in the TV show had only those two heads, but how cool would it be to have a head that only smiles. Or has a look „yeah, I know what you are talking about” or „damn, that's sooooo interesting” look. There are all sorts of heads that could be useful in everyday relations .
I could really use a spare head today. It doesn't need to be pretty, smart of with perfect make up. Just an ordinary head which doesn't hurt…

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School.

These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think someand draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggestword of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government oryour world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down withour blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put thing back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old youare - when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.


© Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

How to loose a friend within a month (take 2)

...sleep with him...

Look-a-like

When I was younger, I had this urge of looking at people and thinking who do they remind me of. It was my own funny game. So in my neighbourhood, I had Delboy Trotter, Charles Bronson and Bob Saget.
In high school, one friend looked like Jesus, other one like Huge Grant.
When I was out with a friend on a jazz concert, few months ago, I saw mixture of Nadan Vidosevic and George Clooney.
Another friend married Chandler from Friends!

These are just some examples of the category unknown – celebrities.

Here are some examples of celebrities – celebrities

Example number 1:
Aleksandar Stanković (journalist, host of “Nedjeljom u 2”)
Davor Dominiković (handball player - Barcelona i Croatia)


Example number 2:
Mladen Bodalec (singer - Prljavo Kazalište)
Bono Vox (singer - U2)



Example number 3:
Lino Červar (handball coach)
Woody Allen (actor, director)



Example number 4:
Ban Jelačić
Slaven Letica (politician)


Feel free to let me know about other look a likes!

Note: pictures taken from www.niktitanik.com

Don't touch!

Generally, I’m not a very “touchy” person.
I don’t like when I need to feel someone’s breath. I don’t like people intruding my personal space. I don’t like when they come really close to me, like they are going to kiss me, but they won’t, coz it’s not in the nature of our relationship.

I don’t like when people touch me for no reason, like it’s a normal thing when people are having coffee, to touch each other on the back, tap on the shoulder too often, hold hands, touch knees, take off crumbs and hair from each other shirt…
It really freaks me out!

I don’t like when people, out of the blue, start massaging me. You know those kind of people who start massaging others the minute they enter a room.
Now, If you like it…it’s really great! But if you go peanuts, like me…it’s a living hell.

And it’s been like this since I was a child. I remember occasions when neighbors or relatives I don’t see very often would try to lift me up, sit in their lap…and I would start crying and screaming to avoid that. when they weren’t touching me, I was adorable, cute, polite child…or so they say…

To sum it up…I don’t like to touch, cuddle, kiss, hug… Not in a day-to-day relationship with random people, friends, colleagues. In those other relationships, emotional-sexual-intimate ones, between me and “significant other”, things are completely different. I can’t get enough of it! It’s like I have to have ONE person to compensate lack of physical contact with others.
This can be not only surprising, but also confusing for me, and person I’m in a relationship with. Especially, if this person knws me as a “friend you don’t touch if you don’t have to”.

Whatever the reason for my “physical contact issue” is, my personal space is reserved just for me and my boyfriend. Others...keep your distance!
You can enter my space if you haven’t seen me for a really long time, and you wish to hug me or kiss me.

You can’t habitate there for no reason.
Or enter it anytime you like. It’s not pleasant.

Just to explain...

I’m sorry babe. I’m not like you. I can’t grow up. I don’t want to grow up. I spent too big part of the childhhood worring about things a child shouldn’t worry about.

I still read like stuffed toys and milk with cookies just before going to bed. I still walk in tennis shoes, old jeans and smell the air early in the morning.
I like to stop the daily rutine and lite a cigarette, have coffee with friends and let the day take me where it wants. Don’t like to have the day divided into sectors, don’t like to wake up in the morning like a robot and know where will I’ll exactly be at 16:30 in two weeks.
I sit from time to time and write a post. Bad one and weird one, but still mine. For some ex boyfriends, for some future ones. Yes, for you as well…
I know I’m not perfect and I can mess up stuff. If I could be as smart as I can be stupid sometimes, only the sky would be my limit.

I’ll always stay around, no worries about that…freindship we had (and still have, I hope) is the thing that’s important. It's something that will always count.
But we’ll never make it as lovers.

Coz you can’t put love in the blank spot of your schedule on Tuesday at 14:10 for 15 minutes before meeting sales managers of VIP…


---Naposletku, ja sam navek znala da si svirac...
Brošić što se teško pribada... ---

About opinions...

I don't get turned on when everyone likes me. Lately, I like it more when I’m going on their nerves. I mean, it's ok if they like me, but if they don't...I don't give a flying poop. I don't have the need to suck up to them...

Last few months, everyone agrees with me. Dudes, chill out!
Sex rules...Everyone agrees, nod their heads...like, yeah, we are all promisciute...
Sex sucks, love counts...again everyone smartly nods, everyone wants to hold hands, love only one in the whole life, no one has any mistakes in their love life...
I loved a jerk...Yes!!! Everyone did, everyone is full of understanding, no one asks if I’m a jerk if I was dating one...
I got hurt...Really? Immediately there are 47 hurt soles!
I hurt someone...f*ck it, its life...you tried it, it didn't work out. So what. What doesn't kill him, will make him stronger...
I'm in a bad mood...What's wrong? Come ooooooooon...tomorrow is a new day...why doesn't anyone tell me to buzz off and to stop feeling sorry for myself.
It's not like I miss anything in life or have some huge problems (at least not any more...)


What I want to say, is that people are way too affirmative coz they accept others crappy moods to justify their crappy moods. We are all too polite; no one wants to get in possible fights...

And why would I agree with something if I don't agree with it?! I choose not to keep my mouth shut only to protect the other person, for him/her not to feel threatened or hurt because I have different opinion?!

Well, it sucks! I love to see extreme moods! Hate fake smiles. Or hidden hate ness. Show that you are alive! Love me or hate me, but do it to your maximum!

Memories...

Today i remebered how, once after the war i looked up and saw a plane. Until then, airplanes were always connected with sound of sirene, running to the shelter and playing hide and seek in the before mentioned shelter. It that moment I realised that I’m seeing an airplane for the first time after few years and I’m not afraid. It felt good!
I wrote the same story for the school asignment and it went to Lidrano (writing contest), where it got lost in the crowd of “Some season is again in our town”.


War didn’t get me personally. But a lot of my friends had to go away and they never came back. A lot of them got kiled, some got PTSP, some new dad. Some didn’t get anything except UN tinned ham.

Living in the shelter was almost fun. My brother and I were the only kids there, but we had our time of fun jumping around sponges we used as beds, eating “Sport” cookies with water (there was no milk, tea, juices…) and annoying older neighbours who wanted to hear news on the radio. Parents, of course, weren’t with us. Mom was woring in a hospital and dad was fighting.

Lot of families in my building doubled…some for wife’s wish of having a kid before husband goes on the front, some becouse of recesion and lack of condoms, some becouse of using RIS condoms which were breaking regularly. Some becouse they had nothing better to do than to explore!

A friend’s family doubled…four relatives came with pair of shoes, pants and 2 plastic bags from Tovarnik. As an only child she had difficult time adjusting to sharing toys and colored pens with 2 kids who were only eating and walking around the apartment half naked. Kids can be really mean sometimes. Now, she’s sorry for her behaviour, for our behaviour…we didn’t understand…

Mine stayed the same. But we were splited for one year coz my brother and me went to live with grandparents where it was safer.
It was less traumatic then some other option, but still…having a teeneger and an almost teenager living with grandparents makes you understand “age barrier”. Especially with them being sometimes overprotective with best intentions to spare us of some disturbing knowing. We had to find it out the hard way…


...to be continued...

Add to a previous post...

...few days ago I had to WRITE DOWN some important things on the paper. First thing I realized is that paper isn’t lying on the table like it used to, but I had to pull it out from the printer. Next challenge was to find a pen. Where is it? How does it look like? I wagely remembered it’s kind of a stick with cartridge inside. Finally I found it in the bottom of the drawer. Moving on…holding a pen after all that time was an orgasmic pleasure, but writing with it seemed to be harder than I expected. My wrist couldn’t bend in the right angle; fingers got all crossed, moving around the pen, trying to find a familiar feeling that just wasn’t there. And then I realized I don’t have a bump on my middle finger, that bump that was there through out all school years. Does anyone today have this cute little mutation that was following us for years?

Finally, I remembered everything related to hand printing and noted down those few lines.

While I was looking the written things, I was thinking how I really mustn’t loose those information. My left hand automatically moved to the keyboard and pressed shortcut for ”save”. And I repeated it few times, coz I couldn’t see little sand watch turning on the paper…

About new techologies...

Lately, I'm spending way too much in front of the computer. Somehow it's taking over bigger and bigger part of my life.
Do you remember times when you were talking with your friends in person and not over sms-es or chat? When you met friends in life and not on internet? These days I'm even spending more time with my boyfriend on Internet than in bed!

And there's a whole new way of thinking as well...

Situation No.1
I'm having coffee with a friend who is having issues with her boyfriend. Again. For the 47th time this year. It's getting quite frustrating for me to listen to the same story every time, and the guy is really a jerk. However...my job as a friend is to sit quietly, listen to her and give her support in whatever she decides to do. But, of course my big mouth can't stay closed and I say something like "WTF!!! Will you finally leave that idiot?!" Half a second later in the „old time“ I would say "I'm sorry, didn't mean it that way" and beg for forgiveness. Today, I feel like banging my hand on the table and scream UNDO! UNDO!

Situation No.2
I'm sitting on a coffee with a friend's friend friend. They said the guy is great. But finally meeting him on a blind date, I realize my friends have really weird sense of humor. Or a bet involving my ass! Anyway...old-fashioned excuse „I'm sorry...I'm really busy, gotta run“ just doesn't start blinking in my head. All I want to do is to press „Esc“

Situation No.3
Crowded tram...Only thing going through my mind is clicking on „Space“

And now it's slowly becoming a joke...we are ctrl x – ctrl v ourselves from the smoking break back in the office, screaming F1 when we need help in delivering sessions...

Damn technology! Where are those beautiful days when a guy talking to himself was just another nut case in a row and not a yuppie with the latest model of Bluetooth?!

Cultural diferences - coldness

I was always facinated by people from the Nordic countries and their way of dealing with coldness. Especially by Finish. I will never forget scene on one AIESEC conference where it was so cold that the penguins would faint, whole plenary was freezing and a Finish girl wearing mini skirt and flip-flops!!!
I guess it's all about cultural diferences!


+15°C
People in Spain are starting to wear winter clothes and glows. Finish people are sunbathing and catching suntan.

+10°C
French people are starting to use central heating. Finish are planting flowers.

+5°C
Italian cars won’t start. Finish are driving cabriolets.

0°C
Water is freezing. Water in the river Vantaa is just getting a bit thicker.

-5°C
People in California are freezing to death. Finish are making the last barbecue before summer.

-10°C
British are starting to heat their houses. Finish are starting to wear long pants.

-20°C
Finish people are ending their Midsummer festival. The autumn has arrived.

-30°C
Greeks are dying of coldness and vanishing from the face of the Earth. Finish are starting to dry their clothes inside.

-40°C
Zagreb is breaking down from the cold. Finish are standing in the line for hot dogs.

-50°C
Polar bears are being evacuated from the North Pole. Finish army is starting the preparation for winter surviving, waiting for the real winter.

-60°C
Korvatunturi (home of the Santa) is frozen. Finish are renting DVDs and watching them indoors.

-70°C
Santa is moving to the south. Finish are frustrated coz they can’t leave their Kossu (Koskenkorovaq vodka) outside.

-183°C
Microbes in the food can’t survive. Finish cows discover that finish farmers have cold hands.

-273°C
Everything, including the atoms stops moving. Finish say “Darn, it’s really cold today!”

-300°C
Even the hell is frozen. Finish song wins on Eurovision.

Menstrual Calendar

01. - 2.02. - BLOODY MARVELOUS
If you are menstruating in this period, you are a person who is recognized by it's mild character and tendency to hemorrhoids.

3.02. - 15. 07. – CHROMOSOME DEFICIENT SUBHUMAN
If you are menstruating in this period you must be pregnant in sin. You should better confess or kneel down in the corner on the corn.

16. 07. - 22. 08. – SHIT HAPPENS
If you are menstruating any of the days in the mentioned time period, make a wish. If your wish has more than 47 letters, it will come true within a month. If it has less than 47 letters, your dog will give birth to croissant and your country will enter a war.

23.08. – 06.09 – ARBEIT MAHT SPASS
If your period belongs to this calendar period, you mustn't use tampons. It's not polite. Anyway...you wouldn’t recognize one even if it would walk up to you, bit you on the ass and announce „I AM A TAMPON“

9. 06. – DONALD DUCK’S DAY
If you are menstruating in this period, you are a couch potato and so boring, that even a boomerang wouldn't come back to you.

All the other days – WHO CARES
You are writing depressing poetry like Sylvia Plath ili Silvya Plath and quietly suffering. No one will notice you anyway until Jupiter comes in the 12th house and Mickey moves from Disneyland to Zapresic.

Tribute to the good guys

A tribute to all the 'nice guys' I know.

This article was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

We are great!

Isn't that something...? To reach the conclusion that you are great to someone...And even better...that the person is great to you too! It's like for a moment everything makes sense and you feel good about it. No matter what...you will know forever that in some moment of your path you meant something good to someone...even if you never see or talk to that person again you made a difference for the better...you were able to touch the inside of that person (is that Neverland...?) and left some of your good vibes forever there.
It's really an amazing feeling...you should try it!

About...

Last week has been really weird one...I was thinking about writing people who made it so remarkable, but I would end up writing about...
...person who is so skinny that his striped shirt has only one stripe...
...about person who is so ugly that I bet mosquitoes bite him with their eyes closed
...about a person who is so self centered that keeps and shows off over 100 pictures of himself...
...about a person who is so stingy that is demanding a change of 50 lipas ( 0.08 euro)
...about person who is so stupid, that he bought a water skies and now is looking a sea with a slope…
…about…

So I just won't write. They might get offended...
And I can’t and don’t want to toss the words in my mouth like candies to make them sound better...

I could also write about…
…person who is making me feel so good without actually doing anything…

But it might boos his ego even more, so...

Let's talk about the weather!

About Big and Important topics...

Few days ago a friend told me that he is reading “that blog I’m writing”, and that it’s ok, but lacks personal touch. That all I’m writing is cool and lovely and worth reading analytical thinking, but that I never write about “something deeper”. I tried to explain him that I don’t have deep thoughts and that I’m very superficial, but he didn’t buy it and he insisted I write a post about Big and Important Topics.

Since I respect opinions of my friends, I spent whole weekend thinking about deep, spiritual stuff, and now for you, my dear friend (and for all of you random readers) here is a compilation of thoughts about topics with deep meaning, sense and message.


LIFE

…mainly boring. You get up in the morning, eat and shitt, then work or study, maybe go out for a drink, then come home and sleep. Every now and then you get sick. It’s kind of boring, but you still constantly think should you stop smoking because you’ll die. So there has to be something in that life. Next episode of Star wars or something like that…


LOVE

…that feeling when you like someone, so you want to exchange body fluids with him/her and talk nonsense with him, so he thinks only great world injustice is keeping the Nobel Prize for personality away from you. After certain time this feeling fades away, and either transforms into obsession (when the person doesn’t want you) or into above describer life (if the other person does want you). But there also has to be something more if we are all trying to find it. Probably regular sex. And someone who will take your bags to the airport.


DEATH

When you die and people you shared your ecosystem fell bad and cry and talk for a while about your habits, things you said or did sometimes in your life, bla bla...Somehow...I still don’t want it to happen to me. I mean...Star Wars and those kinds of things...


GOD, SPIRIT, KARMA, ZEN or IT

Still haven’t met them. Waiting for the day when I’ll say hi to them on the street.


“BLIZNJI”

...a.k.a people. They exist, but still, I don’t even say hi on the street. They are cool when they listen to me, but they go on my nerves when they sit next to me on the bus/tram and don’t allow me to read/think/listen music. I like to joke around with them and don’t like when they joke around with me (except in special occasions). My favorites are those of opposite sex, over 180cm, cute simile and with good sense for humor. Although I don’t have clear idea what to do with them.


MONEY

…something I don’t have at the moment and like to have so I can buy stuff. Favorite stuff: books, travels, chocolate.


POWER

…that what He-Man, George Bush and chocolate have.


PERSONAL INTEGRITY

...something like Kuala Lumpur to some people, they heard it exist, saw movies where it’s shown, some people even share their experience with it


UNIVERSE

That big and dark think that comes to sky after 9pm and looks like somebody’s pimpled backs in negative. Supposing, it’s very big and doesn’t rest on the back of a giant turtle. Janeway and Picard live there. And it has comets that will get us all one day.


RELATIONSHIPS AMONG PEOPLE

...are complicated and I don’t want to think about them because of it. But there are good books and comics about them.


ART

...reflection of human state of mind through symbols. The only problem is that I don’t know shit about human state of mind. I do like RHCP though…


BEAUTY

...is when you have small weight, big boobs, long hair and legs, visible biceps, big eyes, or you are huge meadow in blossom in the sunset with hysterical colorit over the spreaded hips. You can also go as a lake or neogothical cathedral.


SOPRANOS AND SIMPSONS

Real meaning of family and family in the modern society. Mapping out all our relationships, trust, interactions and other stuff through picture. Peek of the human thoughts summed up in a half-hour–to –one-hour shit. Love it. Want to have its kids.


Enough with the big topics. If you have any idea for the topic I should write about, let me know. I don’t promise to write about it in any of the upcoming posts.

To a dear friend...

Happy birthday sweetie!

I wish you to have all your dreams come true. It's nice to dream. It's great to wonder from time to time in the world only you know; where everything is the way you want it to be...

But the reality is a bit different...

I know we will manage to make all our dreams come true. You know I'll be there for you in whatever you decide to do.
You know you'll never be alone, whatever path you take...you don't have to turn around, you know I'm there.

I wish I could be close to you today. But one day I'll make it up...

I could write for hours about you and what you mean to me and again, I wouldn't say all that I want. So I'll just tell you that I love you since the first day I met you and I love you more and more every day!

I love you because of who you are, with all your positive and negative sides. With all the things that make me laugh or make me pissed on you.
I love you because you make me feel special, and because there are more things connecting me with you than with any other person...

There...my 24 year old friend...

Sending you loads of kisses

Social engaged post...or why I think Croatia shouldn't enter EU...

No, it's not about cheese and cream („sir i vrhnje“). It's not that I don't like it, but I think that we are smart nation and we can mange just fine if they put cheese-and-cream prohibition. We'll have secret restaurants where we will consume cheese and cream, in which you'll be able to enter only with password. And we'll have mafia, led by our own cheese-and-cream Al Capone, who will produce illegally home made cheese and cream. And we'll have our own Elliot Fucking Untouchable Ness, who will fight bravely and incorruptibly against cheese and cream.

We can even make a movie. Staring...Goran Visnjic, let's say.


But there's something else that's bothering me...let's do some historic retrospective...

1102. Last king that had Croatian blood died. So we ran away to Hungarians, who promised to respect our history, laws...bla bla...and what happened?

We spent next 400ish years crying how we are poor enslaved, exploited...

1526. Hungary is also left without a king. And what do we do? Together with the Hungarians, we go to Austrians. Who promise to respect our history, laws and bla bla...and what happens? We spend next 400ish years crying how we are poor enslaved, exploited...

1918. Broadly hated Austrian and Hungarian empire is down. We finally find the strength to declare our independence. But even this time, we are not capable to do that on or own, so we join the Slovenians. But the worse part is just about to happen. After a month we join Yugoslavia and spend next 20ish years... not to repeat myself...

1990. Yugoslavia is down. The idea finally comes from our butts to our heads and we create our own country. Defend it in the f***ing war, and manage to keep it 15ish years.

2005. Our government is trying to push us in EU, which will respect our history, laws...


Jebemumater! (curse involving mother, person saying and a specific act). Is it only me who sees a pattern here? Did Ciceron made a huge mistake saying history is the teacher of life? Or you actually need to smart to learn something from the past?

Whatever

It's really great thing to have a blog: when I'm sick and tired of everything, I come here, get rid of all social luggage like emptying an ashtray...and go on...
Sometimes I do it in a funny and entertaining way, but I can't be funny all the time. I used to try more...now I don't need it any more. It even looks fake sometimes. Why would I need to make anyone laugh? Enchant? ...

This is my diary. And every resemblance to real life is on purpose!

Question...

I just have question for the One...up there...

...dude!!! Are you using calendar?!...

...it's SPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!....

If you want to make me happy...

People who come randomly on this blog and don’t know me personally, could get the picture I’m really pessimistic/sad/annoying/never smiling person.
In real life…I’m a complete opposite. Yes, I have my downs in the mood (that’s why I get them all out on this blog), but generally I’m a really happy person!
Here is a small list of things that can put a smile on my face within five seconds…

- when my dog wakes me up in the morning, licks me on the nose and looks at me with those brown eyes with looooong eyelashes
- when I make coffee to my boyfriend in the morning, and he gives me a hug and makes pancakes in the evening
- when Vecernjak publishes book of Paolo Coelho for less than 5 euros
- when I find a comic from Matakovic, and then spend hours smiling with ought control because I remember some of the cool jokes in flash-backs
- when blue light appears on my mp3 player
-when somebody actually smiles to my morbid jokes
- when I’m in a bad mood and somebody gives me a juice
- when I say if I had a load of money I would buy a big carrot and somebody actually get’s where the joke is from
- when there’s a rush in a tram and people are nervous and cranky and I don’t give a flying poop coz a great song is playing in headphones of my mp3 player
- when my Martens shoes don’t fall apart exactly one year after
- when I realize there are still people who like old cartoons like Buggs Bunny and Donald Duck
- when I find in my closet whole bunch of old Dylan Dog and Alan Ford comics
- when I read a good post on blog and that idea makes me think for next few days
- when I meet people from all over the world and than chat with them over msn in the middle of working hours
- when V. sends me sms or talks to me over msn
- when somebody reads my too long posts and puts a comment on it
- when a sun light wakes me up and I realize am at home in Sibenik
- when I spend hours on the first sun after the winter in Daba, having cofee with Gogec and Mario
- when M. holds my hand to stop me from tickling him :)
- when even this small list can make me happy

just for me...

Lately, I’m in a great/horrible chaotic state.

Great, coz there were so many nice situations.
Horrible, coz it’s impossible to keep up with all these situations till their end.
Chaotic, coz I need to choose what I really want.

I just know it’s great to feel alive again. The only thing that sucks,is that I might disappoint someone, probably myself the most. And maybe I’ll fuck up (pardon my French) someone else on the way.

And all this is happening now when I need to work. And only I do, is sit in front of computer and think. I practice speech I would tell to one or another side, convinced I’ll be smarter tomorrow after I get some sleep. And its truth what they say…time heals everything, if nothing, it removes the sharp evidences. And I can’t tell what they are.

Who ever is reading this can think it’s something related to him or her. But only one of you who are reading this has right. And I can’t tell who it is. The one who knows, please keep your mouth...

There are not enough people with balls. Or better said those crazy ones. Those who can f*** off one life and start a new one, withought regretting about the last one. That’s why people stay in the same city and watch the same people. Stay in the same relationship, have the same neighbors and the same colleagues. They put up with crapp, but comfort themselves they are used to them and that same crapp is waiting for them somewhere else.
Take things in your own hands and make something your neighbors, colleagues and even friends will talk about behind your back is hard for everyone.
And if we made it once in our life, it’s not likely you will make it again. Us, who are doing it (it’s exactly what I’m trying to do now – change things) are mad, self-centered, cocky and rude – in the eyes of others.

And what are we wihtought others? You can’t live alone!

Don’t use your imagination! You wacky people! ;D

Day 56

I went today to the shop while it was still snowing. I think i was the only one with ought an umbrella or a cap. It reminded me of rain. Most of the people say they don't like rain. Or they like it only if they are in the house, on the dry, watching it through the window and listening the sound of raindrops falling on the window. I say the same. And I really don’t know why.

Why wouldn't I like rain? Ok, so you get wet from the rain. So what?! What's so wrong about being wet? I don't like when I’m cold. But you are not always cold when it rains.
When you are a kid, they make you go inside not to catch a cold. And you catch it anyway.
When you grow up, you use an umbrella so your new haircut doesn't get destroyed and so your make up doesn't get f***ed up. You get nervous and swear coz water gets through your shoes or a car splashes you with water when you try to cross the road. So you come at work, on the faculty or home, all pissed and curse the rain and whoever invented it for ruining your day.

I wish to go out next time when it rains for a walk with ought an umbrella and let my hair gets all wet and sticks to my face. And when I come back home, to throw all he wet clothes in the washing machine, lay down on the carpet and talk on the phone.

You know what's one of the best feelings in the world? Those moments before the storm. When the sky gets all dark-grey-blue, you hear the thunder in the distance. Then the wind starts blowing. And as it gets stronger, you can feel the electricity in the air growing. If you let go to the feeling, you'll get totally crazy! Start running in the yard screaming and laughing until it starts pouring with rain and washes away everything.
It’s a recommendation!

21st Valentine's

Craziness around Valentine’s has been lasting for whole week. I wanted to get sick and close in the house during that period.
This world is really getting crazy! Come on…who knew about Valentine’s 15 years ago?! NOBODY! We knew about Mother’s Day, Day of the Republic, Day of Women, Day of Youth…some of young Croats knew even about Christmas and Easter. But for St Valentine nobody!
But today everyone knows about him. And day before this day, all become shopping freaks. Coz on that day, you need to go through all the shops in the city and spend a little fortune. And the more expensive present you get for your love the more you love him/her.


It’s all invention of the „rotten” capitalism, how to get as much money possible out of the pockets of the rich, and even better, from the poor. And we are buying it nicely! Owners of parfume stores and flower shops and smiling from ear to ear, normal people have a headache when they remember how much money they spent on the gifts and employees in those shops are soon to be sent to a nut house because their nerves are on edges from answering stupid questions and problems with exchanging the goods in case somebody’s boyfriend doesn’t like the present.
And f***k it all if you can’t get the right gift for your love one. It shows a lot how well you (don’t)know the person you are with. Showing love and affection only on that day is transforming Valentine’s into expectations of who will give what to whom, and who will show more affection in public.

I would call it prostitution of love, but I’ll get misinterpreted.

I have a feeling the only people who are thinking about real love on that day are those who don’t have it. They turn to themselves on that day, between their own 4 walls and inside their heads and think how they don’t have what everyone else does. So they are sitting fu***ed up, sad and melancholic and envy those who are somewhere out and celebrating. Celebrating what?

Love is something you celebrate every day. Honest smile, warm look and small things that make your partner happy are a holiday of love. Fall asleep in somebody’s arms and waking up in the same arms is celebration of love. Like when two people understand themselves with ought many words. To know somebody’s good and bad sides, to respect those bad sides is also love. To think about other person satisfaction during sex and not being selfish is also celebration of love.
Actually, holiday of love is bunch of small things that combined in a whole are making a relationship between two people. And that’s the situation when you don’t mind he is leaving shoes in the bedroom, when you find it cute when somebody is imperfect, when you like somebody even when he is not in a good mood.

I could go on for ages now about real love and what is real love. Is it just a habit of being with someone just so you are not alone? But I’ll stop here; I’m starting to annoy myself!

I spent Valentine’s Day alone. Again. My boyfriend (boyfriend? Can I even call him that?) is on a business trip abroad. We talked for few minutes. It made me feel even lonelier than I thought I was. And finally after few years I’m in a relationship on Valentine’s. (I guess I broke the curse of breaking up with boyfriend few days before Valentine’s! )

Ivan Noble, "The time has come"

Generally, I don’t cry on books or movies. Lassie didn’t make my cry. But Hal did, singing Daisy, Daisy and slowly turning off…

Stupid into to something that really touched me few days ago: Ivan Noble, journalist of BBC Online died from brain tumor. Week before he dyed he published his last article, saying his state is so bad that he can’t continue writing.

I was reading his diary regularly where he described his illness and everything he went through…fears, hopes, worries… I really liked to read it because he was writing with ought pathetic sentences and self-pity. I no matter how stupid it sounds, I really wanted for him to beat the disease, which made him almost blind in the end, and made him feel only bits and pieces of his wife and two kids.
I never sent an e—mail of support. I was always late, coz hundreds of people said before me everything I felt or wanted to say, so there was no point.

He strongly believed in science and medicine progress which would possibly find a cure for different illnesses, including his. Although knowing the chances to win the tumor are not on his side, he was writing with optimism. But what I admire the most, was the fact he showed to people he was scared and that it’s ok to be scared.
Journalist of Guardian, Ruth Picardie, wrote in the similar way while she was dying of cancer. She left a husband and 2 year-old twins almost 8 years ago. Articles Ruth wrote were published in a book “Before I Say Goodbye".

I don’t know if there’s a point to put now link on his diary, but I think I’ll put it anyway. I want as many people possible to read it, no matter how pathetic it sounds.
Like Ruth’s, Ivan’s articles will be published in a book later during this year.

It's cold

Today I felt like an excellent material for strip poker. Bring it on! I had more layers on me than a Photoshop piece of art! Let’s try to count:
1. thongs
2. bra
3. t-shirt with short sleeves
4. t-shirt with long sleeves
5. pullover
6. pantyhose
7. socks
8. pants
9. jacket
10. scarf
11. hat
12./13. glows

So, you would need to strike 13 rounds to see me naked this morning. And btw…I have great luck in poker. :)

Today was a good day

Today I stepped on a dog poop while eating a donat.
Damn it!
I should have bought an orange!

How to loose a friend within a month

Mail not sent a long time ago...

Hi!

...

...For the last 6-7 days I have been struggling with myself weather to send you this e-mail or not. But since I don’t have anything more to loose and you are not talking to me regardless this mail, I will send it.
Actually for the last few days I can’t get you out of my head. I was cleaning my inbox and I found some e-mails from you that made me think about the relationship we had. You came in my life in one really hard period and you made it easier to bear.

And now you disappeared from my life. Well, I hate to say it…but this not talking to you hurts. Actually, not knowing the reason WHY, hurts even more then not talking. So can I please ask you to send me some kind of answer? If for no other reason, then for the old times, when (if) I meant something to you. After this mail, if you don’t want, we don’t have to communicate ever again (which would make me really sad, I have to say that, but I can take it. I think. ).

Even if you don’t answer this mail, you don’t have to worry about me hating you. That’s impossible. I will always keep you in a nice memory. I don’t know did you realize that, but there was a period, when one call from you was enough to keep me happy all day . And I really miss that. I miss you...

...

You know those kinds of friends who forget about their friends when they fall in love? Same friends he will need after his relationship breaks down for 10th time. And friendships need to be cherished like flowers. You don’t need to take care of it every day, but from time to time it needs some attention. Otherwise it dies. It doesn’t need any big disaster to happen. Flowers just die by their nature.

He had this long relationship. We met during one of the down periods of his relationship and instantly become really close. I was also going through a tough period then. We were best friends. Him and me. And then he started dating Her again, and he stopped communicating. I called him, tried to talk with him, see him, but he always found a reason not to do it.
That year my friend forgot about my birthday. Few months after that, I got sick. He knew about it. And he didn’t call. Or send e-mail. I didn’t expect him to come and see me, but I expected at least a call. Nothing. Zero. This, so-called friend.

She left him again. Cheated on him. And he “came back” to me. Said he was sorry. Asked for my compassion. Cried on my shoulder. We were good friends again. Talked all the time, hanged around.
And then he got back with Her. I haven’t seen him for a long time. I miss him.

You are a bastard! Worst of a kind!

How to make a tea party?

For making a successful tea party, you need several things…
First, you need to go to the store. Buy 5-6 different types of tea and two boxes of the same one, preferably hibiscus, at least 4 kilos of sugar and something else (anything) what catches your eye. I mean, you are not making a tea party every day! After the shopping, say a prayer just in case. You will need it!
I won’t describe you in details how to make a tee…I hope you all had cooking lessons in primary school (known as DOMAĆINSTVO in my country)
It’s important to pick who you are inviting to a tea party. Actually, it’s the most important thing of all. Coz a tea party is not a tea party if you invite the wrong people.
If it’s a “number based tea party”, call all the people you have in your cell phone. Ideally, people with same dialing number as yours, but it’s not necessary.
If it’s “letter based tea party”, call people from the beginning or end of the alphabet, coz it’s known that people in the middle spoil everything.
And the most important thing, call the main idiot who you all will be laughing at. Like this
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahhahahahahhahahahahahaahahha!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahhahahahahhahahahahahaahahha!

Don’t try to change, bend the rules or make up your own…you will end up with a disaster and not a tea party!

SpitFest2005

Since I’m obviously in a good mood, I’ll use this opportunity to look back on the events that happened during last year, ignore all the positive things that happened and rip with my cynical paws bodies of the innocent.
Say hi to the SpitFest 2004

1. Worse TV show for under 18: South Park

Every time after I see that shit I piss blood. Yes, yes. Blood. Leucocytes, trombocytes, you name it, i piss it. And I would like you show that instead of it “Beach Police”. That’s a real show” that was the message I was sending every time after seeing this once good show.
But let’s not concentrate only on negative things. “Beach police” freshened mine and the rest of the Cro population everyday life. Even of those who weren’t looking the show itself. Yup. It’s that good.
Like Japanese showed us, that even throwing spinners (think that’s the word) can be turned into and extreme sport, “beach police” showed me that I grew up in illusion that Superman did most for good of mankind. Obviously riding a bike on the beaches of L.A. and hunting small thieves is the only right way for long-term effect in the history of mankind. Who would say?
From now on, when I grow up, I want to be beach policewoman!


2. Worst TV show for adults: Sex and the City

Didn’t see that comin’ did ya?
Do I even need to write anything? For 3 years Cosmo readers have been giggling on lousy attempts to be funny and rose in heaven characters from this shit like some gods of Olympus who came down on Manhattan to teach us how to dress trendy and give advice about sex. I should really send you some kind of note of your extraordinary success.
And Mr. Big = John. I wonder how long it took them to think that. It is, after all on of the rare names, like Ernest and Groqtarr Unbeatable.
But the worse crime was last episode in which dozen of celebrities prayed the show. Even Heidi Klum. Et tu Heidi?
There were fanatics who practically said things like “watching S&C cured my syphilis.” Oh my god! Will the wonders never stop?
At least we saw person responsible for hip look of our heroines. Carrie’s fashion crime doesn’t surprise me any more since I saw lady responsible for costumes dressed up like on of the mafia people from “Sopranos”.

If nothing, next year they are gone. This emptiness in our hearts no one will fill in.


3. Most irritating showed-for-zillion-times movie: Highlander

Oh boy, I love Highlander! Frankly saying, none of the movies about Highlander is good. Contrary to what the fans say, even the first movie is shit. It’s a movie that combines bad scenes of sword fighing with greatest hits of “Queen”. Only thing worse from this combination could be Carl Orff and shoots of single cellular beings mating. Or holocaust followed by “The Beach Boys”.
For those of you, who by some miracle managed to miss first 12 hours of movie, the story follows Scottish rebellion led by William Wallace, who is coming back from dead even after being decapitated more than once by diabolically mean Englishmen.

4. Prick of the year: Michael Moore

Coz he’s fu***ing boring.
Bush is an idiot. Really? Tell me something I don’t know. Or if it’s possible in any way, make a 2-hour long movie about it.
Whole point of Moor’s movie could be put in: “Hi, I’m Michael Moore and George W. Bush is stupid. I am much smarter that him, and I’m not a president of USA. That’s not fare. How can Bush be stupid and get to be a president, and I’m smart and not a president. Btw…did I mention Bush is stupid?”
Unfortunately, instead of that, Moore has a need to make a 2-houl-visual-guide about Bush exhibitions. Okay, Bush is a jerk. I get that. I’m not American.

5. Idiot of the year: Michael Jackson

Stupid like a pot. And no, I’m not a racist. Although Michael looks these days like he has cousins on Alpha Centurion who communicate with “Bip-bip!” in different intonations.
Anyway, Michael is a man who is close to being suit because of pedophilia, and what does he do? He says something like: “I like to sleep with little boys.”
And then they arrest him. Well, D’OH!
You never heard Jack the Ripper saying: “Oh, I’m not killing prostitutes…I just like to stab their tummy with my knife.”

Michael, get yourself a brain. Or even better a lawyer. One of those, who will stand next to you 24/7 and save your mummified but from further problems.

6. Phobia of the year: fear of nipples

Statistics say that every hour in USA 7 new phobias are born. This year female nipples made the biggest impression on Americans. After Superbowl over 5000 parents dug their kids’ eyes, so the poor kids would be in danger of being hypnotized by the children of the Satan himself.
And what to say on that? I agree completely with my American friends. I gave my nipples surgically removed. I feel the World became a better place now.

)"$(&% )!$ #(T&%

I’ m not feeling very good today. Actually tonight. Think I’m having a first stage of a flu. Maybe I should go and see a doctor. But knowing me…I won’t. For more than few reasons.
First…my mom is not here. This may sound funny, but as a child of a mum-doctor, I have never waited in a hospital to be examined. One of my worse nightmares is taking my kids one day to a doctor and having to wait the corridor with others. I was thinking of a way to avoid this…the easiest way seems to be marrying a doc. Then you have a first hand connection. Is there any free good-looking med student reading this?!

Last night I didn’t die from headache, or painkiller overdose. That means I’m much stronger than I thought and that now, if it’s needed, I can go on an open hearth surgery with ought anesthetic. Although, exactly that thing would serve my just fine last night.

Steven King in one of the books had a good description of headache. He said something like:

Firs his head ached like it would never stop, and then it started to ache so much that he started to be afraid IT WILL.


Anyway…second reason why I don’t want to go to a doctor is a cold stethoscope.
You know the feeling? I'll say no more...

Vesna a la Bridget Jones

I was having a good day again!



smoked cigarettes, too many
eaten chocolate bars , six
concrete food which is not chocolate, zero
kilos lost in last 6 months, four
centimeters of boobs mysteriously disappeared, hundred if you ask me
number of thoughts of getting a magic cream that makes your boobs grow, 175894
number of thoughts of seeing Dr. Sinisa Glumicic for getting the centimeters back, 247
amount of money available for one of the upper two things, zero
number of stores visited yesterday, hundred million
number of necessary bussiness clothes bought for tomorrows event, zero
number of elegant shoes which are not Dr Marten’s, or like them in any aspect of their existence, also necessary for the event, zero
amount of nerves lost during the chace for the mention things, colossal
drank coffees , seven
number of curses on behalf of nicotine and caffeine said, because of shaking hands and twitches, 800
number of bad words said, 14
thoughts of sayin a bad word, 39572937451924662445
near death experiences, 1
near fainting experiences, 3 in 3 days
hours of sleep in last 5 days, 17
hours of sleep needed to make up, million
books red, one
met deadlines, one
books to read tonight, one
24/7 working shops, one
number of stupid thoughts, a lot
number of obsessive thoughts, see above
number of hopes for better future, one – selective lobotomy

few info about me

current age: 21
current location: Zagreb, Croatia
mood: could be better
listen: Wierd al Yankovic
recomend: Douglas Adams: Hitchikers Guide to Galxy (if there's anybody who hasn't red it) and numbers of  Orwell's, Huxley's and Murakami's bestsellers
Christmas list of wishes: snow, choose right gifts for others, talk with friends from oppostie part of the world, get an sms from an angry friend, manage not to cry,
upset becouse:misunderstandings, traffic jam, homophobia, must do and must have things, unability to be on two places at the same time, nice past which is gone
apsolutely don't give a shit about:Hajduk, Dinamo or any fotball club from Babina Greda, scratch on the car, 0,00 promilles in the blood, mess in the room
like: Fairytale. Hair ribbon. Bike. Message from a friend. Breeze. Old photo. Glass of good vine. Meadow. Dolphin. My blanket. Chocolate. Smell of pines. Marten's shoes. Fritule. Fresh made coffee. Book with inscription. Letter. E-mail. Kitten stretching on the sun. Walks with my dog. Hand in other hand. Hug. Sea. Kremsnite. Drawing. Smile.

i don't like....

1. 60 year old grannies who don’t have a problem with running to catch a bus, but they can’t stay on their feet two bus stops to the market.
2. Bold people with squarish heads and golden chains around their necks.
3. People who immediately start talking to you like they know your for years.
4. Cabriolets with too loud techno or folk music.
5. Right-oriented people
6. Left-oriented people
7. Greenpeace members who are screaming about rights of the animals, but don’t respect my right on peace and my own opinion. Get off my back! God or evolution made me carnivore. I eat meat. Basta!
8. Jehovah’s witnesses who ring on my doors at 8am and carry me the happy voice. Thanx. No thanx!!!!
9. People with ought attitude and spine who let other people walk on them and afterwards bug other with their life problems.
10. Close-talkers
11. People totally dressed up in “brands” and stink like sweat. If you are already shopping, buy yourself a shower gel. Fendi can be washed in a washing machine just like any clothes with ought a brand name.
12. People who read only love novels and westerns. “Coelho who? That dude from the faculty who comes in Papaya on Friday?”
13. 74 beauty contests through the year with pretty girls who can’t make a sentence. Take a walk through the town, how many pretty intelligent girls can u see…?
14. TV-interviews with people blaming the government for everything (past or current, doesn’t matter), and haven’t done anything to change something.
15. People talking about themselves in third person.
16. Those that will kill their own parents to get what they want.
17. Onion.

7 june

Last weekend was really shitty. Except making my "baby blog", I didnt do anything useful or constructive. Im having mood swings. Dont know is it because of the weather or just PMS, but I do know I don't like it. Its exam period, I should be studying like crazy, there are zillion things I need to do for AIESEC, and Im not doing anything!

So why the hell Im I making a new post today? To make a habit of writing this blog every day? To just get my thoughts out? (What thoughts?! I feel like Im brain-dead for last few days!)

unfortunately for some people, I had few thoughts yesterday...They made my day! :-D


For some reason I went to the church yesterday. Not during the mass or anything, just went inside, sat for a while, looked around. And then I run into a priest. First we were taking about the architecture and then slowly moved on the religious topic. At the begging our conversation was quite interesting and he seemed like a nice dude. But when we touched the religious topic...he turned into a completely different person! It was amazing.
My cocky character of course, didn't allow me to just stop that conversation and leave, I had to start making "problems". I found out this a very good way of getting back faith in yourself and improving your mood...you will see how...

Just a short notice...Im not a very religious person. I respect other people choice and all religious. But my decision is not to be active in any of them. I will explain the reasons some other time. Maybe.

So...somehow...the priest starts to talk to me about journey to Damask. Its that part of The Bible where St Pavao gets enlightened .
Shortly?the guys name was Savao, he was a farisey and roman citizen who was chasing Christians. Then he went to Damask, fell off the horse, got blind and by the way got enlightened. After that he was able to see again, became Pavao and now he was chased.

And why did he tell me this story,so I realize that all people should pray to live the same destiny like Savao. (???)

Then I asked him is it true that st Pavao is to be blamed for women not being able to be priests? Since he couldnt get rid of farisey inheritance and thought women do not belong in front of oltar, although Jesus didnt give any reason to think that women should be treated differently that man?
And the priest starts to stutter but he managed to get out of that question.

Of course, I still didnt have enough,my next question was is it true the Church started with celibate so its treasure wouldnt be spread on priests families, although Jesus didnt say anything about that as well?
The priest started to change colors and my mood was getting better and better.

He answered something how I shouldnt question the Church laws,I was just waiting for that to ask him another question...Why is there an affair every now and than with pedophilia in the Church?

At this point he got totally pissed and told me that Im here only to provoke and that its a sin. He actually asked me to go out of the church!

That gave me a perfect opportunity for the grand finale. I told him...reverent, Im just asking you questions about things Im interested in, and you are kicking me out of the church!? Shouldnt Church be spiritual and full of understanding? And you r kicking me out, instead taking little wondering sheep under your wing and enlightening me?
At that point I turned around and left. He just stood there with ought a word, just changing colors and being totally pissed!

When I got out of the church I was laughing like crazy!

I found out this to be one of the best ways of improving your mood. There are so many people who are believing things with ought questioning them and with ought using their brains so at some point you start to feel great just knowing you are not like them.
And you have some fun! :-D

my dear friend's blog

my dear friend's blog. for those of you who know him...i'm sure you will enjoy

www.dreemland.blogspot.com

Beginning

Dear diary...


hahah...

I have never been writing a diaries...maybe as a child, 11-12 year old girl, taken out of her home during the war. After reading Diary of Ana Frank I decided to write my own "war diary". This idea lasted for few months, after that I gave up on it. Maybe I was just too lazy to write it every day.

probably the same will happen with this one, but I guess I will never know unless u try.

reason why I decided to write again some kind of diary is because I'm on a turning point in my life. Some major things have been happening to me lately, some good, some not. But all of them are making me to think about life, what I want to do, who do I want to become, what do I love...

maybe through this blog I will discover these things. Maybe I won't, but at least it will be interesting to read my own posts after few years and remember some moments, some thoughts...