Menstrual Calendar

01. - 2.02. - BLOODY MARVELOUS
If you are menstruating in this period, you are a person who is recognized by it's mild character and tendency to hemorrhoids.

3.02. - 15. 07. – CHROMOSOME DEFICIENT SUBHUMAN
If you are menstruating in this period you must be pregnant in sin. You should better confess or kneel down in the corner on the corn.

16. 07. - 22. 08. – SHIT HAPPENS
If you are menstruating any of the days in the mentioned time period, make a wish. If your wish has more than 47 letters, it will come true within a month. If it has less than 47 letters, your dog will give birth to croissant and your country will enter a war.

23.08. – 06.09 – ARBEIT MAHT SPASS
If your period belongs to this calendar period, you mustn't use tampons. It's not polite. Anyway...you wouldn’t recognize one even if it would walk up to you, bit you on the ass and announce „I AM A TAMPON“

9. 06. – DONALD DUCK’S DAY
If you are menstruating in this period, you are a couch potato and so boring, that even a boomerang wouldn't come back to you.

All the other days – WHO CARES
You are writing depressing poetry like Sylvia Plath ili Silvya Plath and quietly suffering. No one will notice you anyway until Jupiter comes in the 12th house and Mickey moves from Disneyland to Zapresic.